Why Moms Should Never Feel Guilty for Me Time

Getting a little me time is essential for all mommas, but why do we always feel bad about it? Here are 3 reasons you should never feel guilty for me time!

There’s this rare and elusive thing I’ve heard about, but I can’t quite seem to find much of it: me time. Apparently it’s a block of time where you can do what you want, and it’s not interrupted by children, chores, or anything else. Sounds strange, right?

We all need a little me time here and there. The problem with it is that as soon as I get some, I feel guilty. I feel like I can’t leave my children because my daughters scream when I walk out of the room (and I don’t want Hubs to have to deal with that). I feel like I should spend that time with my husband because he’s the love of my life and he works so hard to support us. It can be hard to find quality time for just the two of us. And we all know about the never-ending to-do list with the mountains of laundry and the house that needs to be cleaned.

However, me time is essential for every parent, and you shouldn’t feel guilty for it. Here’s why:

You need rejuvenation.

I’m sure you’ve heard that phrase, “You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.” Guess what – it’s true. How are you supposed to take care of your family if you’re not taking care of yourself? Believe it or not, a little alone time is part of that. Every momma needs a little time to have some quiet and gather her thoughts. She needs a little bit of time where there’s not someone constantly using her as a jungle gym or crying in her ear. 

Being a SAHM is really a dream job, especially with a creative outlet like blogging. I know my children are in great hands. I get to watch them grow and see their milestones every day. However, even people with dream jobs need a break sometimes. You don’t want to end up with burn-out.

Squeeze in a little me-time to “fill your cup.” Do what you need to do to feel refreshed. Take a long shower or a bubble bath. (You might want an awesome Coffee Brown Sugar Scrub for that!) Read a book. Get out and go have coffee with a friend. Do something crafty or creative. Then you can come back feeling rejuvenated and ready to tackle the world! In the long run, taking a break will help you be a better momma with more patience and energy.

Getting a little me time is essential for all mommas, but why do we always feel bad about it? Here are 3 reasons you should never feel guilty for me time!

Who are you?

The other day my husband was talking about what he would want to do if we ever won the lottery. He’s full of dreams and plans, and I was really enjoying the conversation until he asked me, “What would you want to do for yourself if we won?” Uuuummmmmmmm…. I have no idea. All of my immediate thoughts were for paying off credit cards, moving closer to our families (and building our dream home), and saving for our kids’ college funds. But what would I actually like to do? It was a very sobering question. 

Here’s why that happened: ever since I became a SAHM, every minute of their every waking hour (slight exaggeration) has been devoted to the kids. Some days I feel like I’m stretching myself so thin between all three of them plus my husband, that there’s nothing left for myself (there’s that empty cup again!). They get my full focus, and I forget that I’m a person, too. I am more “Momma” than Samantha. 

A little me time is crucial so that you can stay in touch with yourself. Remember your passions, find new ones. Take up a new hobby (I highly recommend blogging and planning!). Whatever you do, just remember that you are your own person as well as an awesome momma. 

You can reciprocate without resentment.

Have you ever sent your husband out for a day with the guys, only to feel really grouchy about it halfway through because you’re stuck at home (like always) with the temper tantrums and stinky diapers? No? Just me? Don’t be shy, I know I’m not alone in this! 

The truth is that as much as you’re craving that me time, your spouse probably is, too. Everything I have said above applies to him as well. He needs a break, he needs his own hobbies, and he is more than just Daddy. You might realize this, and you might give him that time. That’s great! But do you feel resentful because you’re not getting the time for yourself, as well?

To take on a few cliches here, me time is a two-way street, and it’s a tango. It takes teamwork. You and your spouse need to communicate to make sure that you’re both getting some time for yourselves. No one wants or needs both parents burned out and frazzled. Take a little me time for yourself, and it will be much easier to let your spouse have some, too. Then you’ll both have a full cup and be much happier. (And in the end that means happier children, too!)

Do you feel guilty for me time? Is it part of your regular routine? I’d love to hear your thoughts, tell me below in the comments!

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About Samantha

I am a SAHM to three kids and a menagerie of pets. I love coffee, books, crafts, wine, cooking, and more coffee. Seriously, I couldn't function without coffee. Read more about me!


  1. I love this so much because that is one of my mom guilts. I feel like I’m away from him so much during the day at work, that what right do I have to be away from him even more? Heh. But you have a point -we all need to fill our own cups and relax so we can be the best moms we can be.
    Julie S. @ Fab Working Mom Life recently posted…15+ Recipes that Boost Lactation for Breastfeeding MomsMy Profile

    • Oh goodness, it has to be so much harder for working moms! This is one of those instances where as a SAHM I can say, “I’ve been with them all week, I need a break before I go nuts.” I wished I lived closer, then we could get over this mom guilt thing together over coffee and tea! 🙂

  2. Me time is such a hard discussion in our house! It seems like it only ever takes one little instance to create an imbalance and I’m out of commission. Something I need to work on for sure!
    Tori recently posted…Helpful Solutions for Treating Your Baby’s EczemaMy Profile

    • Balance is the tricky part! You have to get it right between time with the kids, work, and yourself. Not to mention equal me time for you and your spouse!

  3. I definitely needed to read this one today! This is a struggle for me — I feel like if I put myself (or my blog or shop) first even for a moment, I’m being THE WORST mom, so I end up feeling guilt-stricken and I drop the ball on some of my professional responsibilities. :-/ Thanks for sharing this!

    • We’re really good at giving ourselves a giant dose of mom guilt over so many things! 🙂 Just rest assured that taking a break can make you a happier momma in the long run.

  4. I totally agree that “me time” is really crucial for BOTH parents! Working mom or dad, stay at home mom or dad, it doesn’t matter! Everyone needs that little slice of time to be themselves, away from kids and spouse. It really does rejuvenate the soul and make us better partners and parents when we return.
    Erin @ Stay at Home Yogi recently posted…A Scary Trip to the ER + The Warning Signs I IgnoredMy Profile

    • Exactly, Erin! Thank you! I always feel better coming back after a little me time, and I hope Hubs does, too!

  5. I am lucky enough to finally be able to get some me time but I do always feel so guilty that I barely enjoy my moments!!

  6. I appreciate this post so much! Feels good to know I’m not alone sometimes, I can so relate…I’m with my two boys while my hubby works 50+ hrs a week and sometimes I’m so drained but blogging definitely gives me “me time” and “me goals”.

    • I like to think that it’s good for Hubs to have some alone time with the kids while momma takes a break. He’s missed them all week, right? 🙂 And then we can switch and it’s his turn for some peace and quiet.

  7. This is great! I think all of the awesome mommas out there definitely deserve some time to themselves- and it’s NEEDED without feeling guilty! Great post.

  8. Yes! I also stay at home, so I found myself nodding along to this entire post. The guilt is so hard, but the me time is so important. If I don’t have it, then I’m just no good to anyone.
    Shann recently posted…Summer Bucket ListMy Profile

    • The guilt is so hard, but I guess we just need to get it in our heads that it’s really okay to take care of ourselves, too.

  9. Yes, so true! I have to have “me time” in order to rejuvenate and have energy to invest in others.

  10. Such great reminders! I often get lost putting everyone else before myself.

  11. My “adopted” mom taught me how to overcome the “me time guilt.”
    Are your kids hungry? Are they dirty? Are they safe? Do they know you love them? If the first two answers are no and the second two are yes, then you have no reason to feel guilty. Take some time for yourself so you can keep being an awesome momma!
    GypsiGranny recently posted…The Love of My LifeMy Profile

  12. Me time is something I struggle with. I told my husband a few weeks ago that I was drained, so he took off work so I could relax. The plan was to get a massage and be by myself. That didn’t happen, but what did happen was that I didn’t have to cook or clean for awhile and it felt good. Just that little bit of task being lifted off of my plate helped me so much! I still need to get in that me time though! hahaha

    • That is so nice of him! Sometimes a little extra help can goo a really long way! You have an awesome husband!

  13. Amen! AMEN! I am SUCH a better mom (and wife) when I get some me time. My hubby golfs a lot so I would feel resentful of him when he would be gone for 5 hours on the course while I was at home. He is much better at giving me my time now and life is better all around!
    Chrissa – Physical Kitchness recently posted…8 Ways to Modify PushupsMy Profile

    • Me too! I get way too cranky if I don’t get some me time! I’m so glad you and your husband found your balance and that both of you get the benefits! 🙂

  14. Ugh you are SO spot on with this. I am definitely going to take some ME time soon! Thanks

  15. Samantha, this is a great topic. When raising a family it’s so easy to get all caught up in the day-to-day routine of keeping things organized with children’s activities and needs, running errands, keeping everyone fed, and keep the household running smoothly. This will definitely lead to burn-out and exhaustion. We need to remember that as people we are important too! I love your suggestion about tag teaming with your spouse to allow each of you to have some alone time or get out and socialize with friends.

  16. the time to rejuvenate and refresh is SO important, not only for moms but for everyone. we forget that and become lost in “work” and “duty”. this is a great reminder! =)

    • Thanks, Ananda! And you’re so right – it’s not just moms, but everyone that needs a little break sometimes! 🙂

  17. Dreams and passions get squashed in most people, not just Mum’s. We all need to remember to invest in them personally.

  18. Love this! I rarely get any “me” time because I’m a stay at home mom, blogger and everything else in between. I do believe that taking some time for yourself is so important. It will make you a better person.

    • Thank you, Ros! I completely agree! I totally feel like a much better person once I’ve gotten a break from it all every once in a while.

  19. I really appreciate this! I have two children. I have a 2 year old and an almost 1 year old! I love them dearly and more than anything in the world! However, sometimes…I want to be able to just kind of…uh…GO PEE BY MYSELF! Instead I have a toddler trying to flush the toilet while I am sitting, a baby pulling himself up on my legs and a cat trying to push me off of the pot so he can drink from the toilet water! It’s crazy! I sometimes feel guilty when I take “me time” but then I think…I really shouldn’t feel guilty if I take some time to myself!

  20. As soon as I saw this in our FB group, I knew I needed to read it. I just have one little toddler running around at home but I seriously feel guilty when I spend 10 minutes on Instagram even though I feel like I NEED those 10 minutes. So thank you! This made me feel so much better!

    • Sarah, I’m so glad this helped! You need to take those ten minutes for yourself every once in a while, or you’ll go bonkers! I still feel guilty sometimes, but I’m realizing that I’m a better mom after I’ve had a breather.

  21. Absolutely essential but so challenging to make happen!

  22. I needed this post today.
    I always feel guilty for taking me time, because I feel like he works all of the time, so it’s not fair for me to ask him to watch the baby.
    Thank you so much for posting this

  23. I am the WORST at me time! I have pledged that this is my “year of no”. I need to say ‘no” more often to others and “yes” to me! Great read!

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