Now hiring for the position of… everything! Must be quick on your feet, not afraid to get dirty, and have a great sense of humor. Job duties include cooking, cleaning, laundry, playing with Monster, playing with babies, chasing babies, trying to catch babies. Must be willing to accept payment in the form of hugs, kid cuddles, and cookies. Why? Because the children are outnumbering me, and I need another set of hands and eyes.
It’s official. I have two crawling babies. TWO. And a crazy three-year-old that gets so wound up and excited when the girls start moving around. When Monster got really good at crawling I remember counting down the minutes until his lunch or nap so that I could sit down for the first time all morning. He was just one child. Now there’s two more! And they’ve got the crawling thing figured out very well. They’re everywhere and into everything.
When I was pregnant my brother-in-law told me his twins always kept the other in sight, so when they started moving around, one never got too far away from the other. That made things sound so simple and easy. “Piece of cake! I’ve got this!” Silly, naive, pregnant me. I would say a good 80% of the time they stay in each other’s line of sight, but that doesn’t mean that they’re both staying out of trouble at the same time. I’ve realized that having two babies at once is worse than having a brand new puppy. If there’s a loose piece of trim or an edge of a rug, the girls will pull it up and chew on it. Corner of a wall? Apparently those are tasty, too.
This morning they tag-teamed me pretty well. We were playing in the living room, I was trying to finish my first cup of coffee and sneak in a minute or two of Monster cuddles. SweetPea crawls over to the edge of the rug and starts to pull it up so she could chew on it. I very carefully tried to untangle myself from a boy that didn’t want to be put down, picked up SweetPea and relocated her back to the middle of the rug. Meanwhile, LoveBug sees me occupied with SweetPea and decides it’s her turn to go mess with the other end of the rug. So once again I untangle myself from another unwilling child, and go grab the new mischief-maker. I get back to the middle of the room only to find that the first one is gone. She made a beeline for the dog bed when I wasn’t looking. Thankfully LoveBug stayed put while I went to retrieve SweetPea again.
This only goes to show that they’re plotting against me already. One distracts me while the other goes for the bigger trouble. And I feel like this is only a sneak peek. We’re just getting started. They’re only crawling now. I can’t imagine what this will be like when they’re walking, or opening cabinets and getting into stuff!
If you are interested in this incredible work opportunity, please contact me. Help me even out the odds. Until then, during the week while Hubs works I’ve got just my two hands and eyes. No matter how much I wish for it, I can’t magically sprout another set or two. Cloning is not yet an option. But I am a mommy and that makes me almost invincible. I have this trick up my sleeve that has worked almost every time. When they wander off in opposite directions and start to get too far away, I simply call their attention and place my coffee mug on the floor. It’s like a homing device. There is such a strong magnetic force that they cannot ignore it. They both immediately stop whatever they’re doing, turn around, and the race is on. So all I have to do is always keep a cup of coffee nearby and I’ll always have baby bait.